Painting came into my live the very moment when I was at the peak of tiredness and disappointment. I had got a successful career, an experience, skills and even my own business. Nevertheless, the world around me had lost its colors and the happiness was no friend of mine anymore. I realized that something should be changed.
I’ve always wanted to paint. But I wanted it in a modern way: I was thinking about my dream lazily, passively and even timidly. Why timidly? Because the following thoughts flashed through my brain: “how can you paint! People spend all their lives to learn it…”, “no one starts at 36”, “you won’t like it”, “ you won’t make it”, etc. So I kept on dreaming until on March 19, 2015 I came to an art supply store and asked “to give me everything I need for oil painting”. So they gave me everything. Half of that “everything” is still untouched, but if you came absolutely unprepared, you have no one to blame for that. So I came home, set canvas on a windowsill and started to paint it with blue. I had no idea what’s what, and I played my hunches. When my husband came home he saw that everything – my dog, windowsill, window, wardrobe and of course me – was spattered with blue paint.
For the first three months I was only using my fingertips to paint. Then I moved to fingertips and rag. Then I started to use palette knife and rag, later just palette knife. I rarely used brushes. My favorite colors and forms changed as quickly as subjects and senses. Only one thing remained unchained: every day I devoted 2-3 hours to my dream.
By the end of a few months I understood that 2-3 hours is not enough as well as oil is not enough. I was trying to find an extra ten minutes to draw everywhere and with everything I could: watercolors, pen, pencil, charcoal pencil and ink. And I wanted to draw and paint more and more. I didn’t take any courses or lessons; all I had was a great desire to create! Later I started to learn from articles, books, video and experts advice. But at first all I had was consuming passion and voraciousness. Technically it was more difficult for me than for people who trained to draw and paint, but psychologically it was easier: I didn’t know how to do it, so I began experimenting with different methods and techniques. I enjoyed the process and was free from fear of failing to meet standards.
One and a half years later, I spend at least twelve hours a day painting. I have tried various techniques and different materials: graphics, watercolors and pastel. But my best attraction is oil painting.
At first I wandered about without clear understanding of the final goal, but today I may tell about my aim as an artist. My sincere belief is that the unseen ocean of beauty, excellence and pure art surrounds us. And artists share the special vision which let them see it. I am quite sure that the artist’s mission is to be a perfect conduit, a bridge covering a gap between ordinary people and this unseen ocean. They share an ideal beauty wherever it is embodied.
I do not like at all when an artist forgets about this noble mission and becomes enchanted by his ego, when he starts to cherish his grandeur and great talent, when he treats his paintings and other objects of art like a hoarder does: hide them, do not let them into the world and into somebody else life. My aim is to constantly enhance my skills in order to convey the eternal beauty I see beyond without even slight distortions.
When I am painting I recall myself when I was a child. That was a simple and carefree time when rain made me happy as well as the sun, sorrow was fast-ended, and discovery was infinite. So that I would like that people looking at my paintings feel true happiness, enjoy brighter and fuller life! And one more thing, I would like that they believe in themselves a bit more watching my dream comes true!